Monday, May 18, 2020

Learn from my experience

Learn from my experiences.
Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to face life and try to survive. You can read my published book "RUTH MINERVA" or reading my blogs. You will have more information.

I was born in San Lorenzo, Puerto Rico, on January 27, 1942. I had a pretty good life until my grandma Filo, whom I called "Wella" took me to NYC, January 1947. The plane landed at La Guardia airport. I remember that day. We went to live at my Uncle Tony and Aunt Jenny's apartment in Manhattan, on a 5th-floor walk-up. I was happy.
Months later, my mother Carmen arrived at NYC withmy three brothers. She lived in a rented room around the corner from my uncle Tony and God-mother Jenny's home. Weeks later my father Artemio arrived from Puerto Rico and went to live with my mother. My father had only one leg, his other leg was amputated, when he had a truck accident.  Wella Filo had to return to Puerto Rico because Grandpa Jesus needed her. Wella could not take me with her, because my parents applied for welfare and had me on the budget. My heart was broken, I wanted to go with Wella Filo. I had lived all my life with Wella Filo, she was devastated but the law was on my parent's side.
 Papi, my father had rented an extra room for me. I hated living with my parents. Months later we moved to an apartment where my hell began. I was molested by my father. Although he apologized I could not trust him.
I went to school, where I had many adventures. I had no sisters, and the girls did not like me, so I became a tomboy. I played with my brothers. I grew up with 9 boys who didn't allow any other boys near me. Norman, my oldest brother taught me how to fight, swim, and many other boy games.
Papi took every opportunity and excuse to sleep with me. I was unable to sleep when he slept on my bed. I felt his penis rub my back and I had to move away from him. I was afraid to tell my mom, because she would not believe me. If I told Norman, my oldest brother, he would have killed him.  When Norman got married I stood in his house every moment that I could.
Finally, I got married and thought I was free. Actually, my second hell started. My first husband mentally tortured me. We moved from place to place until he died in 1984. A lot happened which I wrote in my book.
I moved to Florida, with my second husband Marco. Marco is a recovering addict, bi-polar, he has compulsive behavior, chronic arthritis, needs knee replacement, He is in pain all the time, and became an alcoholic. Marco is a wonderful man, he tries.
I am now a mother of three biological daughters and two biological sons. I have 14 biological grandchildren and two biological great-grandchildren.
Life hasn't been easy but I have survived. My life journey has been arduous, funny, adventurous, mysterious, and unpredictable. 
After my experience with my first book, my life changed again. I will be writing the 2nd version of RUTH MINERVA.
My daughters stopped talking to me for almost 3 years. They did not like what I wrote. I had promised myself to write my autobiography opening the closets for the goody-two-shoes who made my life miserable and hurt me. I wanted my daughters to understand why I became who I was and the hurt thhat they had caused me. Instead they turned against me. One day they decided to talk to me. They asked why I wrote the book and I replied. They are to this day talking to me, butI feel that my oldest Ileana and  Lorena, my middle daughter, still resent me. My oldest son still feels that I was the nagger, but he calls and comes to see me. In their eyes, I am the bad one. I stopped making excuses, I don't need excuses for what happened to me.
Today I have achieved everything that I have wanted thanks to God, Goddess, and guardians. I have done all for myself for no one has helped me.
My husband still drinks alcohol but does not bother me. If he wants to kill himself, so be it!
Trying to heal a drug or alcohol abuser is like having a dog not eat bones. My husband takes drugs and medicine from VA Doctors, he also stopped smoking. He still needs his meds and sometimes I forget that he has compulsive behavior. My children have grown up
up and changed with me for the better. They are wonderful parents and grandparents I guess growing up has made them realize the truth. I too have changed, I understand them better. All of my children are good, they are not perfect,  but our love is strong. and they help me in any way the they can.  I'm still looking for a publisher to republish my three books.  I have the rights to them so I can do what I want with them. I am also reorganizing my web page. So many things have happened in my life, I will be writing different subjects, feel free to making suggestions.
This Pandemic has changed everyone's life, have faith all will be good.
and  it continues.....